Whining
This post was triggered by reading about a politician whining about people whining. While there are multiple forms of bad behaviour, quite few beat whining, but simple way to do worse is to whine about whining, that's simply next level stupidity with irony on top. Have I done it? Yes, no point in denying it, and I do regret it.
A better way to communicate is to give high quality feedback, but then again we have the expression that "any feedback is good feedback" which gives a fair amount of flexibility to the person giving feedback.
There is a frequently used quote on the topic:
"Complaining about a problem without proposing a solution is called whining."
- Theodore Roosevelt
Nicely phrased it passes it's own mark (proposing that proposing a solution is the solution) although it doesn't address the simple fact that observing a problem and finding the solution are two very different things. One of the greatest architecture decisions in my career was based on a conversation that started "We have done this re-architecture twice, but here is the fundamental problem, and I don't know how to solve it..."
Soo...
With the above we have a solid base for looping back to "any feedback is good feedback" and claiming this is logically reasonable. Which includes whining, and with the same logic includes whining about whining.
As a leader in times of great change, a lot can be whined about. On the best of days I can get into the mode of absorbing feedback easily, some days not so much. I try to always remember that for some things I'm simply responsible, it can be things...
...that I can't influence
...are caused by others
...not possible to fix with the resources I have
...or only affect the single person whining about it right now
But still, in most cases, I am responsible and I should be the recipient of the feedback.
A better way to communicate is to give high quality feedback, but then again we have the expression that "any feedback is good feedback" which gives a fair amount of flexibility to the person giving feedback.
There is a frequently used quote on the topic:
"Complaining about a problem without proposing a solution is called whining."
- Theodore Roosevelt
Nicely phrased it passes it's own mark (proposing that proposing a solution is the solution) although it doesn't address the simple fact that observing a problem and finding the solution are two very different things. One of the greatest architecture decisions in my career was based on a conversation that started "We have done this re-architecture twice, but here is the fundamental problem, and I don't know how to solve it..."
Soo...
- Being aware of a problem without knowing how to solve it, is a much better state than being unaware of a problem.
- A person giving you feedback should not be held responsible for knowing what you know...
With the above we have a solid base for looping back to "any feedback is good feedback" and claiming this is logically reasonable. Which includes whining, and with the same logic includes whining about whining.
As a leader in times of great change, a lot can be whined about. On the best of days I can get into the mode of absorbing feedback easily, some days not so much. I try to always remember that for some things I'm simply responsible, it can be things...
...that I can't influence
...are caused by others
...not possible to fix with the resources I have
...or only affect the single person whining about it right now
But still, in most cases, I am responsible and I should be the recipient of the feedback.
Additional note: As pointed out to me speed is an additional reason to feedback before solving. Assuming that you are not uniquely well equipped to solve the problem, sharing the knowledge of the issue will increase the chances of finding the solution faster.
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